Messy life causing confusing time...?

Where to begin... but split up over a month ago and perviously was together for over 13 years. during the split he wanted nothing to do with me, as i texted him constantly... he never replied to any of my texts and the month was hell as i was left to wonder whether he loved me at all. then one night he turned up on my doorstep with reaction i allowed him into my life. he went home that morning and we met up the monday for lunch. but he does want us to be having ago at our relationship but he doesnt want to move back home or let anyone know. He said he spoke to his cousin about it but hasnt confirmed him. he ignores my texts still at times. asking me to chill out and stop pushing him.. it feels like my life is lost... as i want my love back... he aint quite as sure. i didnt two time him, i shouted at him and he left on the grounds of it not working.